In 2020, shortly after giving birth and during a strict lockdown, I found myself living with my in-laws. While initially welcoming, the situation became strained. The expectations placed on me, despite having a newborn, clashed with my desire for autonomy. Here’s a story about my journey to independence.
This experience sparked a deep need for independence. I wanted to provide for my daughter and myself, free from reliance on others. I took a job, not for the pay, but for the freedom it offered. However, even this step wasn’t without its challenges.
The next job proved equally difficult. Feeling undervalued and underpaid, I knew I had to find a better solution. However, without another opportunity lined up, I persevered. The final straw came when I had to walk to work due to financial constraints. My employer’s indifference solidified my decision to leave.
Unfortunately, due to family estrangement, I had limited options. A friend generously offered temporary shelter, allowing me to plan my next move. Harare, my new destination, presented its own challenges. Finding a decent place to stay, was a struggle. Exhausted from searching with an increasing urgency to be self sufficient, I settled for a residential area I hadn’t even viewed. Fortunately for me it was a decent place and a few months in they installed solar power, so it definitely worked out for my good.
The Importance of Independence
Despite the hardships, this journey solidified my determination to be independent. Relying on others, especially when their behaviour is unpredictable, creates a nerve-wracking uncertainty. It can affect everything from basic needs to emotional well-being.
While some might advocate relying on family, my experience has shown the potential pitfalls. People can, and do, let you down. This can be especially hurtful when you’re in a vulnerable position.
My story is not a plea for sympathy, but a testament to the importance of independence. It’s about the freedom to make choices, control your life, and build a secure future for yourself and your family. This is why I strive for independence every day. It’s a constant work in progress, but one that empowers me and brings me closer to the life I want to build.
I wouldn’t discount the amazing people who helped me along the way. Their support might not have been what I envisioned, but their well wishes, prayers, and encouragement were incredibly valuable. I’m truly grateful for each and every one of them, every single day. Their presence wasn’t just physical, but also offered spiritual and emotional strength. It’s safe to say they were my lifesavers! A huge shutout to them!
A message for anyone who has ever felt lost or discouraged:
Your dreams are absolutely valid! Hardships may come, but they don’t have to define you. As the Bible tells us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).
My faith has been a constant source of strength. Scripture has proven true in my own life, reminding me to “wait on the Lord, and he shall renew your strength” (Psalm 27:14). Through challenging times, I found hope and perseverance in these words. I hope that in whatever you endure you know that this too shall pass.