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To The Women Who’ve Been Cheated On.

Sex & Relationships

To The Women Who’ve Been Cheated On.

African goddess I wouldn’t be doing right by you if I did not use this platform to inform you how phenomenal you are.

By La Louve & Phiwie

I am completely aware that men cheat more than women according to stats but I’d like to address

the women today, . In particular, women that sleep with their daughter’s fiancés, neighbour’s husbands, their sister’s boyfriends, and their coworker’s partners. You encourage your friends to live their “best life” and have affairs with married men, as long as it’s not your husband. You watch your brothers be unfaithful to their wives but when it happens to you, the world is cruel and unfair? Double standards much?

How many times in African households do you hear the words “A woman needs to be strong” (Bekezela/ Shinga mwanangu). Women are conditioned by other women to accept tomfoolery. Why are you agreeing to be strong? Are you Wonder Woman? Some of you stay with serial cheaters and have the audacity to cry about it? The minute you chose to stay after he said he’d change for the fifth time, you stopped being a victim, you are a VOLUNTEER. I honestly wish self-respect was back in fashion so women could start wearing it again.

Parents, I beseech you, stop teaching your children that marriage is an achievement before teaching them that respect takes precedence. People stay in unhappy unions simply because they fear being ridiculed by family members. Wow! How far we’ve fallen in our community, protecting your peace has become offensive to everyone around us. Just because your partner and the other woman do not see your worth does not mean it is nonexistent.

We blame patriarchy so well for the things we do not like. It is our culture to never be our sister’s keeper, we were raised to be competitors, not in the workplace no. Nothing at all is healthy about our competitiveness, everything is borderline psychotic. We obsess so much over what the other woman has. We cease to stop and celebrate each other. Stop bragging about being a freak in his bedroom and focus more on dominating in the courtroom, in the classroom and in the conference room, you catch my drift?

Men are not entirely at fault. They are just guilty of taking advantage of a very convenient hatred. Female misogyny is a real thing, live time, happening right now. Just never for the gram. We speak about women’s rights so fluently. Yet we are so obsessed with only what soothes our souls. If my sister is hurt in the process, well, she’s simply another war casualty. May the best “man-eater” win!

I am not saying carry the world on your shoulders or see every other woman as an ally. I am saying you are Joan of Arc, you are the descendant of the woman who whispered and conspired with the snake that led to the downfall of men. Yet we are still unaware of the secrets we yield. You are, supreme, irrepressible, you are a Monarch.

So the next time you want to put another woman down, consider this. Does it put money in your pocket? Does your house get any bigger? If the answer to any of these questions is no. Then it’s not worth your efforts of destruction. While you think you have the upper hand, side chick or main. You actually need to sit and realize only the man knows who he really wants. It could be neither one of you. Both of you exist for his convenience and he’s getting a two for one special on Whacky Wednesday.

I leave you with this question if you went to an art gallery (I’m assuming that’s were people meet these days) and a gentleman that caught your eye told you he could only give you 5% of his time and attention would you entertain him or would you tell him to eat rocks? My money is on the latter, so why would you want to play second fiddle to a man that is already entangled? African goddess I wouldn’t be doing right by you if I did not use this platform to inform you how phenomenal you are. Remember this, dust settles but queens do not.

iNgudukazi Magazine is a publication for the African woman. We know she is a jewel and a fountain of wisdom and we would like to celebrate her reverence. For the culture of woman.

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