Self-Condemnation: Saul the Persecutor of Paul

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

 The “Functioning Dysfunction Series” continues as we delve into self-condemnation in the body of Christ. As the dysfunction you once called home unravels, you slowly open your eyes and you are renewed by the grace and mercy of God. The Word says;

Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

In our state of renewal, the scales fall from our eyes and the lies of the enemy become apparent. So apparent that they seem to be a bad joke, and we genuinely question our sanity, (2 Timothy 1:7 answers this beautifully, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Speak life into your existence at all times!)

But on a serious note, we really do question ourselves, and it seems like we are our own worst enemies. That’s where the self-condemnation begins.

The road to damnation really is paved with good intentions; I remember taking action I thought was beneficial for my family and I, only to turn back in awe and horror now. But that’s the thing with sin; we’ve all been through it, and we are all guilty. As the Word says:

Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God.”

Whenever I read this verse, I hear it. Really, I do, but only for myself. My pastor could never have sinned; what about the rich and famous? Surely their wealth exempts them from mistakes? No, it doesn’t. All of us are sinful; one way or another, we all fall short. As we discussed last week, if even Peter and Judas, disciples of Christ, could fail, what more and how much more do we fail?

That’s what brings me to Paul, formerly Saul. I find it interesting how the Bible references the disciples by their full names. Simon Peter, Paul, who was called Saul? I wonder: what’s your identity in Christ today? Are you walking up right and proud in Christ, or are you in constant cringe mode because your former self haunts you? Because if so, you are not alone. I remember who I was and on some days that’s all I can think about. It haunts me, much as it did Paul. You don’t believe me? Have a look at the Scriptures, namely 1 Corinthians 15: 3-8. Paul professes the Gospel of the death and resurrection of Christ and who He appeared to. He says this of himself in 1 Corinthians 15:8: “And last of all, he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.”

This verse struck my heart and my soul wept in understanding; when I look at my walk with Christ, I always feel like I’m out of due time. I berate myself because I am not as holy as other Christians or because I have yet to kick old addictions and bad habits. I feel like I am constantly failing Jesus because I don’t trust Him with all of me. I am haunted by the Simon or Saul I used to be. Not only that, but I wonder why God chose to save me and what He could possibly do with a vessel as weak as I am.

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

This is the dysfunction we left behind when we began our walk with Christ; the world tells us we have to do works and perform in order to be loved, in order to be worthy. I’ll give a classic example. Academia is the purported door-opener for life-changing opportunities, and yet God’s calling and anointing supersedes this fallacy. Let’s look at David. He was a mere shepherd, and yet he showed great valour in battle, defeating Goliath. If we look at it, David was not qualified to be an officer or in the military. He had no business being there, let alone confronting a giant that could impugn the honour of an entire nation, Israel. The stakes are pretty high; it’s one thing to make a fool of yourself, but what if your failure shamed your entire country?

Yet as we read more about David’s walk with God, we realise that God positioned him perfectly and his anointing in God carried more weight than any credential man could create. Now imagine the PhDs everyone keeps telling you you need to get that promotion. Can it dim the shine of the anointing and appointment of Christ? I think not! I hope the voice of the enemy is becoming clearer as you sift through the debris of dysfunction.

What anchored David and Paul in their respective hours of need? I ask this question because both men were millennials apart in space and time, yet they were plagued by the same feeling of unworthiness. Just as we are today. These are the times I affirm the Word is alive! Yesterday, today and always! The Scriptures reveal:

1 Samuel 17:45 “Then David said to the Philistine, Thou comes to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.”

1 Corinthians 2:1-2 “And I brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything amongst you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.”

David and Paul stand not on the dysfunction of the world. They stand not on the limitations of man or the biases and stereotypes we have been fed as truth; no, they stand on CHRIST! I struggle with this principle because I was taught love has to be earned. When I failed, I felt worthless because I had no works to present in order to be loved. So it’s hard for me to accept that God loves me as I am. The Word says Jesus died for us when we were still dead in sin and that is mind-blowing. Not only had we scorned the Lord in sin, but the very actions we had committed cursed Him and yet, He loved us still!

I could be the very best version of myself and God would still love me. I could be the very worst version of myself, and He would still have sent Jesus to die for me. My salvation isn’t based on anything I could do, good or bad. This eliminates the need to compare and compete with others because we’re all the same; we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but we are also ALL loved by Christ! I am not late on my journey as long as I am with Christ. David and Paul both met God and heard His voice. Both of them made mistakes. Both of them had a mandate to fulfil in Christ. Yet, their journeys were different but equally important in the edification of our faith. Today, I’m no longer listening to the Saul I used to be, but I am striving to be the Paul God called me to be!

In closing, I ask you: Who has God called you to be? Don’t focus on past mistakes, missing credentials, or the world’s view of you. Who has God called you to be? I can only imagine how hard it was for Paul to introduce himself to Christ’s disciples and preach the Gospel. He probably felt like a fraud, an impostor, and doubted his ability. When David was standing before Goliath, I’d like to imagine that for a split second, Goliath in all his might terrified him. Yet both men stood, not on their own strength or worldly credentials and advice, but on the Lord and his promise.

Romans 3:23-24 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

You can do all things through Christ, who is your strength. I pray God’s blessings and grace in abundance over you this week! Rest in the Lord, Peter! Rest in the Lord, Paul! Simon has passed away; Saul has passed away. Your former life in sin has passed away. Stand tall, Paul; stand strong in who God has called you to be, as justified by the blood of Jesus Christ. God bless you.

#TheSaintWhoWasASinner

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