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An Open Letter To Myself

A Letter To Myself

Creative Writing

An Open Letter To Myself

My closing sentence in this letter to you is that, I wish, hope, pray,
fast and meditate that you become blessed with your own liberal independence.

A Letter To Myself

By Asher Mutandiro

“You have a past but do not have a history, a present that will never be immortalized and there is nothing futuristic about your future.”

To Me

Fear of the unknown plagued your past, torments your present state and cursed your future. You were never born with fear but it was instilled into you by those who feared you might not fruitfully progress for their own good or cause. How many opportunities have you lost due to either the lack or fear of liberal independence? You could have been better than what you are now and your fruitful future could have been your past but it is not so because you kept yourself chained to what was falsely prophesied about you by anointed seers.

I see that you are slowly evolving with progress to become yourself and you torment yourself by asking, “Is it not too late?”. The success you are to taste in the future will it not be a decade behind from the present time frame you are in, for it should have happened earlier? You had self actualised according to what the anointed seers had falsely prophesied about you and by that you never became yourself. When you were yourself, you were so as per the false prophecy. Now you fear what you should be for you instilled your faith in a false prophecy painted by anointed seers. You have no faith in yourself but you have hope in a doomed prophecy about yourself. You have been made to fight wars and battles that do not affect you but have done so because your name was mentioned in them, then made to believe you are the cause of such wars yet you were and are just collateral. Your bear the marks with internal bruises of these wars and battles but tragically you are not a decorated comrade. Because of such, you have never had anything to fight for with a desire but now you have something to passionately go to war for.

Becoming yourself is a redemption card that you can play to lighten your past, present and future. You have a past but do not have a history, a present that will never be immortalised and your future there is nothing futuristic about it. You utterly despise your past, your past is remorsefully disgusted by the your present state but your future could look forward to a brighter future if you change now. Aren’t you tired of regretting about what could have been only if you had….? Aren’t you exhausted of losing family, friends and associates because you are haunted by insecurities of how long you will be together instead of how long will you learn to become secure? Have you not become weakened by having critical ideas that could spark a revolution but they die a violent death in your mind? You vision that your past is not yours hence you reminiscence has an attempt to fix it on how you would have wanted it to be according to your current and present state. Afraid to become what you must be for you fear either you will not satisfy yourself nor you will not receive acceptance and approval from those around you and whom indoctrinated you with fear.

When you look into the mirror you see what you have been made to become without your consent but when you look deeper into the mirror you envision what you are becoming and it haunts and gives you hope at the same time. You were given the freedom to speech but without the right to it, hence you became anti-social. Even when you talk you do not communicate, when you chat you spark no excitement. Your social life is personally privatised and there is nothing social to it. You are depressed by that which is not yet and has the highest probability that it could not be. You should quit and give up over thinking life then start to contemplate on how to meditate critically. You fear failure as if you are not learning and that aspect must be annihilated. Fail for that which is your own success not to fail for another’s success that has been portrayed to be yours. The question is, “Can you firmly, truthfully and subjectively stand by that which you are to become when you never stood up for yourself?”

My closing sentence in this letter to you is that, I wish, hope, pray,
fast and meditate that you become blessed with your own liberal independence.

Yours Truly

Me

iNgudukazi Magazine is a publication for the African woman. We know she is a jewel and a fountain of wisdom and we would like to celebrate her reverence. For the culture of woman.

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