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Personal Struggle: Spiritual Spouse

Personal Struggle

Personal Struggle: Spiritual Spouse

There is no religion where spiritual spouses are a good thing.
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Having a spiritual spouse will cause problems in real life such as poverty, bad luck, illness, stagnation and relationship issues. There is no religion where spiritual spouses are a good thing. Getting rid of them is spiritual warfare at it’s highest. The first time I encountered a sexual dream, I didn’t recognise what was happening because I had never orgasmed in real life. I found out what was happening to me during my first church deliverance.

The dreams are hard to fight because they do not last long. It’s the split of a second and you climax. Upon waking up, the body physically feels the way it does after having real sexual intercourse. Emotionally, it leads to feelings of helplessness, violation, disgust and sadness. It is being raped by something unknown.

The worst thing about it is not knowing. Not knowing what is having sex with you. Is it a tokoloshe, a chikwambo, a snake or a perveted man with mbobobo powers? In addition to that, what are the implications of those sex dreams? Are the sexual vampires drawing power/strength/blessings? It can’t be about pleasure because these things are not physical.

Traditionalists think sexual dreams come from a family suffering from Ngozi offering up a female child to appease the deceased. If a relative killed someone before that man had kids, Ngozi enters the home and a daughter will be married to that dead man to stop the Ngozi.

African Tradition Religion believes the sex dreams can be caused by having an uncleaned ancestor that needs attention. That ancestor uses the sex dreams to try and reach out. Doing the cleansing rituals is believed to be an antidote for the issue in this case.

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Christians, on the other hand, believe that sexual immorality opens the door to the sexual demons called incubus/succubus. Watching porn, masturbating or fornicating with people who have this issue, makes it transferable. Spiritual spouse problems are also linked to selfishness and narcissism (The spirit of Jezebel).

I have read everything there is to know about spiritual spouse issues. I turned my life over to Christ completely to seek refuge. “No masturbation, no pornography, no sexy songs, no sexy thoughts.” I look away during sex scenes on TV. I cut it all out of my life and the dreams persisted.

I tried to make changes to make the sexual attacks to stop. I visited witchdoctors, climbed on mountains to meet Madzibabas, knelt on the altar for deliverance and got items from the mermaids in Epworth to make the sex dreams stop. They did not.

My worst fear is becoming spiritually pregnant from these sexual dreams. They say  dreaming of being pregnant or breastfeeding means having spiritual offspring, being a mother to a spiritual entity without consent. God forbid.

What I have learnt is, the spiritual world is complicated. No one knows the answer. Someone advised me to be patient because the spiritual spouse are renowned for being stubborn. The person who gave me away to this spirit spouse is still alive. So when I remove it, they put it back. It is an endless loop of return to sender. They send it back because they know exactly what it is and they do not want it in their lives.

Struggling with a spiritual spouse is depressing. There is no silver lining. No words can fully describe what living with this oppression is like. No one truly knows where it originated from, the consequences of it’s presence or remedies that work. Suggestions are welcome.

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iNgudukazi Magazine is a publication for the African woman. We know she is a jewel and a fountain of wisdom and we would like to celebrate her reverence. For the culture of woman.

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