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Men Are A Victim Of Patriarchy


Men Are A Victim Of Patriarchy

What is a king without knowledge? How does the heir to the throne manage the kingdom without knowing how it functions?

Women are a victim of a patriarchal system, Zoleka the patriarchy-smasher keeps telling us that. True, but what people tend to forget is that there are males who are also victims of the same system. I consider myself a victim.

Why am I a victim of a system that portrays me to be dominant? It’s because I lack the features and characteristics of dominance in my home as well as the society. The breadwinner in this patriarchal system has to be the male. Well, I just feast on what my wife deems to be my share. When she gives out this share, she punishes me for the system that victimizes her kind based on sexuality. The victim of a patriarchal system is the most effective in my household and for this I am victimised by the system.

My fellow men see me as the weakest link in the chain. Due to the fact that what happens in ‘my household’ is public knowledge. If it was possible they could cut me out of the link of the patriarchy. Well, they cannot take away the aspect of my manhood in physicality. Though they have managed to criticize the being of it, labelled it weak and ineffective. One of them once said to me that, “You dominate because of the norms of the patriarchy but economically you are weak because your wife caters for your well-being.”

What could I do to establish more dominance in this system besides the one passed on to me? It’s a man’s world after all. True or false?

When did the system of patriarchy start to victimize me? Well, when I got indoctrinated into it during my early childhood years. By the time I was ten years old, I had more privileges and rights than my adult sisters. My sisters challenged the status quo by getting educated although behind closed doors; without our parents’ knowledge. However, they could not escape the system. They were married off to husbands who were products of this system and took their ‘rightful’ place within it.

I was told I was to inherit all that my father had, even one of his young wives. In my teen years I began to lust after because I was the heir to our family throne by virtue of being the male child. What is a king without knowledge? How does the heir manage the kingdom without knowing how it functions? The family members just told me I would inherit it all but never told me thoroughly how I would manage it or get to the inheritance. They just told me that, “When father passes on, it is all yours.”

When father did pass on, all that was in my mind was the inheritance and how I would use it. Yet the victims of the system, my sisters, who had managed to attain an education used the power of education and attorneys to wrestle away my inheritance. I could see my inheritance being dragged away from me through the use of different weapons of education: like use of the legal justice system. The only way I could fight back was by means of the system I grew up in: patriarchy and the norms that govern it. I did not even know how the legal justice system worked but I knew how patriarchy worked and obviously it was no match against the arsenal of weaponry my sisters had.

My brothers-in-law aided my sisters in wrestling my inheritance away from me. Shame on them for betraying a fellow male in support of the ‘weak’. Well, with the inheritance they went on to upgrade their own status. I was left with nothing but the option of marrying one of the local women. From there I could start exerting my dominance. The woman was thrown at me by the system and I gladly caught her in order to reinstate myself back into the system.

It was from there when the purveyors of patriarchy started viewing me as weak. The reasons being that I had no wealth or inheritance and that I was given a wife rather than me going to pursue or ‘hunt’ one for myself. I could not get employed by just being a male. I could get employed however if I had an education. However I was deemed too old to learn. “There is no need for education”, I thought. I had an educated wife and she was supposed to submit to me. She built us a home, managed to get some assets that could regenerate wealth and placed us in a comfortable area. She had not given me a child yet and it was what I wanted to establish more relevance in the system. She said she could not because she was busy with work and trying to generate more income for us.

I would have none of her poor arguments to stop her from giving me a child. I reminded her what system she was living under. Wasn’t I the man of the house? I threatened to make a disgrace out of her by marrying another woman. Her reply was simple, “I will file for divorce tomorrow, let me call my attorney.” The word attorney put me in my place. These attorneys made it possible for my sisters to sniper my inheritance.

She informed me that a divorce would be the end of my life. The house, the assets, – everything of monetary value – was in her name. She could use the legal justice system to make sure I would walk away with nothing. She told me a truth I had denied to myself several times. She said that, “Your life is in the palm of my hands and I will make an example out of you, this system of patriarchy is flawed.” She concluded, “I will be the one who will make a disgrace out of you.”

When other males were getting educated on how the world works and planning to use that education to supplement their position within the system I was focusing on the benefits of patriarchy. I focused on what I could get from it without breaking a sweat. When women were learning behind closed doors on how to shatter the glass ceiling, I was learning the craft of how to domineer over them and get one of them to be my wife. The men in the system despised me for being “backward” and relying solely on male privilege rather than learning anything else.

The men back stabbed me just like my brothers-in-law did to me on the aspect of my inheritance.

The men were allowing me to be victimized by my wife. Where was the brotherly love? The men left me in the lion’s den to see how I’d fare so they could learn from my demise and come up with tactics to counter their wives. My wife used me as an example to the women on how to challenge the oppressive system they were under. Education, education and critical thinking.

My sisters dared not assist me in this battle. As they could also find weak links in the chain of the system they could potentially bring the husbands to book and account by demanding GENDER EQUITY first. Then gender equality at last.

A male, who was victimized by the patriarchal system he strongly believed in or was made to.

I was willing to inherit and succeed to the wealth. I did not know how it was built. I did not know the context of why the system was there it. I could have asked, why?


|30under30 Award Winner For Top Social Media Innovation and Influence 2022| 2 Time Afrobloggers Award Creative Writing Nominee.|

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