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What Do You Bring To The Table?

Sex & Relationships

What Do You Bring To The Table?

What do you bring to the table is a good question, the problem is who is asking it?

What do you bring to the table?

Before this question became popular in dating, I had previously heard it during recruitment and selection when applying for jobs. The reason why they asked this is so that they can know how best to use you. It’s exactly the same when a man asks, “what do you bring to the table?” He wants to know how best he can exploit you.

Being asked, “what do you bring to the table” can bring about the same anxiety as being asked to tell us about yourself. You are being forced to quantify what cannot be quantified. No eye hath seen, no ear hath heard what lies in store in the future. How do you prophesy what the future holds?

Where is it coming from?

Broke men have a phobia of having women steal money that they don’t even have. They have taken that Bible verse about being unequally yoked to toxic levels. Yes women have been called to become Proverbs 31 women, but have you read Proverbs 31 verse 3? Deadbeats have been belching on their responsibilities and now they want to find out, if they ditch, will you be able to pick up their slack?


If you don’t see it, it’s not for you

If you have to ask what someone brings to the table, it means it is not obvious and you’re lazy and unwilling to do the exploratory work. Leave them alone. Don’t disrupt their lives. “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” When the right person comes, they will see your value and be able to recognise it and appreciate it. An example is how Zimbabwean citizens will complain about the genuine plight we are in but others will see opportunities within that plight.

Gone are the days when love was love

Adele sings, “…so we can love each other for free. Everybody wants something, you just want me.” I don’t know when mjolo got listed on the Stock Exchange but we haven’t known peace since. I blame the pandemic and the economy. We are living in tough times and when the going gets tough, you need all the help you can get. Soon we will be writing CVs to get into relationships and setting Key Performance Indicators in relationships. Pure, unadulterated unconditional love is dying.

What’s the new role of men?

Women, especially black women have had to carry society on their backs. Now that they have opted out of suffering and exploitation in search of the soft life, the world (men) is shook. What is their role in light of this? Who will now fix their mess when they ditch responsibilities? When you respond to, “what do you bring to the table?” It let’s them know that you are still open to earning love and respect through toil and long-suffering.

What’s the best response to the question?

Nothing. You don’t have to answer. Plead the 5th Amendment because whatever you say may be used against you in the future. Life is unpredictable. Anything can happen. One day you’re an ambitious, overworked and underpaid (refer to gender pay gap) high-flyer and the next, you may decide to be a trophy wife doing thankless housework. How will you reconcile the two? Imagine he would have married you because he believes in a dual-income household, what happens then?

What do you bring to the table is a good question, the problem is who is asking it? This question is an opportunity for deep introspection. Regularly ask yourself what you bring to the table. How are you showing up for yourself? Are you living your purpose? What are you willing to do? How far are you willing to go? Answering this question can help you to stay true to yourself and in alignment with your values and beliefs.

“As far as what I’m bringing to the table, I bring me!”

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It's your girl! Natively fluent in speaking hard facts. I'm from the City of Kings, born and bred njenge sinkwa! Well versed in women's issues ngazathi libhayibhili. Ang'so mngan' wakho!

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